Finding Your Way Back: Self-Care and Intrinsic Motivation in Challenging Times

In my work as a fitness professional, motivation is a hot topic. External motivation works to a point, but intrinsic motivation seems to inspire for the long haul. I've been teaching Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) since 2020, and since then, my clients and I have all faced new and different struggles in regards to health. The pandemic, in particular, brought unforeseen challenges, and now, the world itself continues to present a complex backdrop. Global events, from political shifts and environmental concerns to ongoing conflicts at home and in other parts of the world, create an undeniable impact on our sense of safety and well-being, highlighting the critical need for resilient well-being strategies amidst pervasive uncertainty.

When I first looked at the TCTSY syllabus and saw that a module was titled “Self Care,” my mind immediately turned to bubble baths and pedicures. Self-care is another popular phrase in the health space these days, though its deeper meaning sometimes gets lost in translation. Bubble baths and pedicures are nice ideas in and of themselves, but caregivers require deeper nourishment to remain present and connected to their work.

In her book Trauma Stewardship, Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky addresses this conundrum, drawing from her own experience. Spurred by witnessing suffering as her mother died from cancer, she made a career out of helping others through trauma. After years holding a variety of jobs in her chosen field, those she interacted with started noticing the work was taking a toll. After much consideration, she realized that she could no longer effectively work with others if she didn't change the way she related to herself.

After experiencing a profound personal loss, I became familiar with a phrase popular in communities navigating grief: “Be gentle with yourself.” In a society that praises both dogged determination and a stiff upper lip, this seemed somewhat controversial. I wanted to forge ahead and do things, driven by a desire to "master" the trauma, as Lipsky describes. Skipping over the dark and trying to force light can be very seductive.

Had I skipped over feeling my grief entirely (and believe me, I tried…), my proverbial empathy well would be very shallow. To stay truly present amidst pain and suffering is not easy and, as Lipsky points out, can drive one to unhelpful behaviors such as numbing. As she states, “While I know we have so many different life circumstances, I believe we have a shared ethic of doing no harm. If you are numb, you will not be able to gauge whether or not you are doing harm.”

One thing that is helpful about having a body-centered practice like TCTSY is that it fosters interoception. Being aware of our internal state and working skillfully with it is the first step to creating a better world, both for ourselves and others. As Lipsky says, “We don’t get to selectively numb. If we numb out the sorrow, we numb out the joy.”

One important aspect of trauma stewardship is to actively acknowledge both ends of the spectrum. Since the human brain has evolved to focus on the negative, recognizing the positive can require some practice. I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of a beautiful sunrise. This active acknowledgment of both positive and negative aligns beautifully with the principles of RAIN meditation, a powerful practice for emotional regulation. RAIN, which stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture, helps us approach difficult emotions with mindfulness and compassion, fostering a deeper connection to our inner experience without judgment.

Coming back to the body is one way to reconnect with intrinsic motivation. Noticing what we feel physically, whether working in a trauma setting or lifting a 100 lb barbell, is not only safer for us but for all those who cross our path. Perhaps the same could be said for noticing what we feel emotionally.