Swapping "Perfect" for "Do Your Best"

Merriam-Webster defines perfectionism as "A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable." Since acceptance is often pointed to as the key to happiness, perfectionist thinking can feel like a recipe for misery. Far from being a noble pursuit, holding yourself to an impossible standard has been consistently linked to mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and disordered eating.

The outside world is largely out of our control, which is often why perfectionist tendencies get channeled inward. Our bodies become the perfect target for manipulation, self-criticism, and relentless improvement. The problem? Like life itself, the body is not static. It is a constantly shifting, living system influenced by genetics, environment, age, and a million other factors. Therefore, "perfect" does not realistically exist outside of the mind. Holding on too tightly to an unrealistic ideal isn't just unhelpful—it can be profoundly harmful.

So, what’s a wellness warrior to do?

Instead of telling you to swap out specific foods or add a new workout to your routine, the most impactful change you can make is a mental shift. I encourage you to swap out the idea of "being perfect" for "doing your best." As simple as it sounds, this mental adjustment is the one that seems to make the biggest difference in overall health and sustainable wellness. Don’t get it twisted, though—while the concept is simplistic, the practice can be extremely difficult.

Swapping "being perfect" for "doing your best" means letting go of some magical thinking. It’s a tough truth: your vision, no matter how strongly you hold it, may not equate with reality. Accepting that your body has limitations, natural shape, and intrinsic rhythms can be disappointing. It's jarring to realize that no amount of effort can fundamentally change your skeletal structure or genetic makeup to match an arbitrary ideal. But here is the exciting part: Realizing that maybe it doesn’t matter so much after all. Your worth is not tied to an external, unrealistic standard.

Once you start (or more accurately, continue to work on) getting the self-criticism under control, it’s time to deal with the noise that comes from the outside. Messages about what we should look like or how we should feel—whether direct or indirect—don’t miraculously disappear the moment we decide to accept ourselves. The best we can do is realize (and continue to work on realizing) that we don’t need others' approval in the same way we don’t need their criticism.

Once you let go of the need for external validation and quiet the inner critic, you are free to focus on what is left: the real you. Getting to know and moving through your own innate rhythms and cycles is the truly interesting part of the wellness journey. Noticing, acknowledging, and acting on what you learn is a perpetual practice. The more you attune to this fact, the easier it is to find sustainable satisfaction in a perfectly imperfect body.

Shifting thought paradigms is challenging work—in practice, it often feels like learning a new language. But the human brain is remarkably adaptable; neuroplasticity is a real thing. This means that every time you choose to acknowledge your effort rather than criticize your result, you are literally strengthening the neural pathways of self-compassion. So perhaps along with some reps for your muscles consider adding a few reps for your brain.